you guys were way drunker than both of me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
