I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
