i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
