he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
