Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize