i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
