it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
