So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
