Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
