Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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