It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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