who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
