The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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