I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize