Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
