a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize