she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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