At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
