just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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