someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
