I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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