did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
