Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize