i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
