I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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