Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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