I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What a dumb baby whore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
