Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is wine microwaveable?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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