I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish I only lived at night.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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