no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
