Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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