you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
