How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i will never coherently bang her
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
3 2 1 whiskey
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
