Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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