Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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