I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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