Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
