I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
