idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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