Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
