Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
