you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
