hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
