if i can run in heels then i can drive
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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