1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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