Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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