I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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