I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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