He asked me if I "almost moaned"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
