Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
