kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
