I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
