I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
