I want to walk on stilts...naked
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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