Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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