He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dicks are not precious.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i believe in u and ur pee
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
