Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am available for nakedness
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
