If i come over, it means nothing
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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