Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
