you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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