So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize