READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize