Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You pole danced in your parka.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
