Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
