But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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