Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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