it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
