She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize