Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
