It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
