I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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