can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
